pain is part of healing

91 Days Old 

It has been 2 days since Gracie's surgery and she is doing much better today. She seems to be more comfortable now than she was. 

She is less swollen. They were able to reduce her oxygen settings on the vent and she is now on room air. They still bump it up from time to time if she is having an event or is upset. 

She did have a few mini-events today where she destatted, but with some stimming from the nurse and a slight bump in oxygen, she was able to recover. 

She gets upset during care times when they have to wake her to change her diaper, check her settings, reposition her, taker her temp and swab her mouth. You can tell she is in pain when she is awake. Her face gets beat red, her heart rate increases and there's silent cries. 

That is the hardest to watch. 

The silent cries.

During care times I try to hold her hand and talk to her. She usually squeezes my finger so hard that the tips of hers turn white. It's heartbreaking to feel so helpless. 

While she is in pain that is impossible to watch, she is moving in the right direction and healing her way home.  

They reduced her pain meds by half and started to administer them through her feeding tube instead of through her IV. She is also back up to her full feeds. 

She is breathing on room air through her vent and her swelling is now minimal. 

We can't wait for the next few days to pass and hope for her to be in less pain each and every day.