To my teammate

This has been the hardest season for us; as new parents, as a married couple, really just as people.

We've been in hospitals for almost 8 months now, isolated from real life but also very aware that this is our new reality.

Since being transfered to NY, Nikko jumped right back into work with both feet to support us.

We never planned to be a medical family, and have these challenges, so my job for right now is Gracie. That means not only insane unexpected medical costs, but we'll be living off of one salary too. Currently Nikko works 6 days a week, with only Sundays off. 

His alarm goes off at 4:30 am and after commuting over an hour and working a manual labor job in this summer heat, he comes straight to Blythedale. 

Every. single. day. 

He showers in her room, we eat microwaved dinners bedside and most days he passes out on her couch. Killing himself just so we can have a very small window together as a family. 

Then on Sunday mornings, his only day off, he goes to the hospital early to give me a small break to get some house stuff done... because laundry, dirty pumping parts, linens, dishes and dog hair still exist. 

I know I am beyond exhausted, and he must be too. He tries to support me as best as he can since he knows taking care of her fulltime is not only exhausting, but some days superbly frustrating. We are both trying to pour from empty cups to support eachother and man is it hard. 

I just wanted to give him a shout out and like most of my other posts, give a moment to acknowledge my feelings and that this is hard. 

Did you know that the divorce rate for parents with a medically ill child is more than 70 percent? Not that we are anywhere near that, but this has been beyond traumatic and the stress is absolutely no joke.

We don't always show up to eachother as the best versions of ourselves, but babe I see you and Gracie and I really do appreciate you ❤️